04 April, 2012


(Insert panda pun here)

I can't help thinking that the giant panda is perhaps not the best choice as a poster animal for wildlife conservation. The female comes into season for just two days a year and, according to the hourly bulletins from Edinburgh we seem to be getting on the national news, while Tian Tian is sort of up for it, Yang Guang — how can I put this delicately — is having trouble getting it in because her tail is in the way.

When not, er, cocking up copulation, this monumentally stupid and ridiculous-looking animal, despite its omnivorous ursine heritage, spends all its time subsisting on bamboo shoots, possibly the least nutritious food available.

I think the panda knows it is a joke animal and would quite like to be allowed to just die out quietly. Perhaps we should stop interfering and let it.

The BBC radio news seemed fascinated that they were using a long pole to raise the tail of the female panda.

Perhaps a short chinaman would be more effective....

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