Do you still beat your husband?

While we're on the subject of the hacked voicemail of murder victims and the soon-to-be-late News of the Screws, the question of how much Rebekah Wade knew about the dubious shenanigans is surely a classic "Do you still beat your wife?" question.

• If she knew, she was complicit.
• If she didn't know, she was incompetent.

Guilty as charged either way. I don't approve of the death penalty so I will not be joining those clamouring for Ms Wade to be publicly hanged at Tyburn but suggest instead the following punishment:

That Ms Wade be taken to a public place and stripped naked. She shall then be secured using restraints that permit unrestricted access to her whole body. (Any good supplier of BDSM accessories will doubtless be able to advise.)

Relays of sadistically-minded pædiatricians will then be encouraged to carry out unpleasantly invasive investigations and procedures on her.

A mere token return for the unnecessary suffering she has inflicted on others.