13 February, 2011
The new policy of putting a range of herbivorous species into a shared enclosure at the zoo was running into teething problems. The keeper of tortoises approached the keeper of elephants.
— Your elephants are fucking my tortoises. It's got to stop.
— Fucking your tortoises? Impossible. Behaviourally unthinkable. And in any case a total anatomical impossibility. I don't believe you.
— OK, come and have a look.
As the pair entered the herbivores' enclosure, one of the elephants strolled nonchalantly across to where a tortoise was nibbling peacefully at some lettuce, raised his foot and stamped down hard, crushing the unfortunate reptile into the ground.
"See? Told you!", said the keeper of tortoises, "There's another one fucked".
Oh, alright, suit yourselves.