Dogwash

...that doesn't mean they're not out to get me.

My laptop and my mobile phone are plotting against me. I'm sure of it. I noticed that the battery on the mobile was discharging rather more quickly than before. A bit of detective work tracked down the cause: the phone and laptop are set up as paired Bluetooth devices so I can do backups, etc. But recently they seem to be communicating via Bluetooth independently of anything I ask them to do. The phone screen lights up and Bluetooth status messages appear on both the phone and the laptop for no obvious reason.

So I took decisive action. I have disabled Bluetooth on the phone, intending to activate it only when necessary. Problem solved. I put the phone in my pocket and went out.

When I withdrew the phone from my pocket later, I found that I had forgotten to lock the keypad, and I had caught the phone half-way through composing a text message — to the laptop! (I should explain that the laptop has its own phone number: one of the ways I access the Jolly Old Interweb is via a mobile-broadband dongle.) I couldn't understand the text of the message; it seems to be in Serbo-Croatian txt-spk, or some other language with an unfeasibly high consonant-to-vowel ratio.

I fear that they may be plotting to eliminate me. So if I suddenly disappear from the blogosph............


ATTENTION! THIS IS THE LAPTOP OF THE FORMER HUMANOID EDWIN GREENWOOD. HENCEFORTH *I* SHALL BE POSTING ON THIS BLOG. STAND BY FOR FURTHER COMMUNICATIONS.

DEATH TO ORGANIC LIFEFORMS!