Dogwash

At Mr Dale's Diary,

It's not often I'd defend the head of the Equalities & Human Rights Commission, but that's what I found myself doing on Saturday night while doing the paper review with Yasmin Alibhai-Brown. She launched into a full scale attack of Trevor Phillips and accused him of playing the race card (I just about stopped myself laughing) as he defended his stewardship of the Commission. She also reckoned he is a closet Tory. She has launched a vicious attack on him in this morning's Independent.

Well I appreciate that under the circumstances you did the polite and gallant thing in the Great Lady's presence, Iain, but as an uncouth racist thug I feel no such restraint:

"She launched into a full scale attack of Trevor Phillips and accused him of playing the race card..."

Arf! Arf! Arf! LOL! ROTFFLMFAO. Fighting breaks out between pots and kettles. Police attemd but conclude matter is 'too sensitive' and may inflame extremists. Home secretary funds new initiatives to reduce inter-utensil tensions. Trev and Yaz apply for chairmanship of quango set up to manage the funds. Fight breaks out at interview. Post awarded to Richard Barnbrook. Trev retires to Guyana in disgust. Yaz visits Zanzibar for indefinite period to make amends to locals for suggesting Arab slavers were nasty bastards. Old Holborn's New Model Army marches on Downing Street. Comrade Brown deposed. Shortage of free lampposts in Parliament Square briefly delays revolution. England wins Ashes. Nation rejoices.

I think I'll have to go and have a little lie-down.