Dogwash

("Half a pound of mixed metaphors, please, my good man." "I'm sorry madam, we only have vanilla, today.")

Yesterday, Laban provided us with a brief summary of the increasingly panicky anti-BNP smearing campaign in the run-up to the Euro elections.

The other day I noted how Searchlight/UAF's Hate not Hope is so desperate for material that it is reduced to looking for sinister fascist implications in Easter eggs and pointing out minor spelling errors in fash internal emails. For its latest news item, HNH is so hard up for dirt to dish on the fash that it has resorted to posting internal news.

At Harry's Place, Edmund Standing has gone berserk, putting out ever longer and more abstruse pieces exposing the inner nastiness of the BNP. Poor chap must be absolutely knackered. To be honest, I haven't given them all the undivided forensic attention they doubtless deserve — they read a bit like Dave Spart's doctoral dissertations as edited and annotated by Noam Chomsky (or possibly vice versa: is there much difference?). I had to read a fair amount of Chomsky's linguistics oeuvre for my degree course, and that was quite enough of him to be going on with, thank you very much. But the gist of Brother Standing's ramblings appears to be that Nick Griffin is in fact an illegitimate great-grandchild of Adolf Hitler and is planning to establish the Fourth Reich with the aid of the Illuminati.

We knew that already, Edmund. I did mention it to the geezer in the pub with the pint of Foster's and the bag of salt-and-vinegar, but all he wanted to talk about was Bangladeshis hogging the GP's surgery when his wife was ill and how his kids kept being beaten up at school by little Somali thugs. He did say something about how that Hitler geezer at least made the trains run on time, but he was well onto his sixth pint at the time, so I couldn't really follow his thread.

At Pickled Politics, concern is (or certainly should be) growing for Sunny's mental stability. The man whose insufferably smug facial expression makes him a shoo-in for the second most punchable Asian in British politics* seems to have been losing coherence steadily for the past month or two and is lashing out at random as his carefully honed brand of superficially inclusive racial particularism — a sort of victimism lite with styling by Terence Conran — starts to seriously lose traction.

But the most bizarre episode in the current hysteria-fest is the Strange Case of the BNP Handbook. In a story exclusive to all newspapers (© Lord Gnome), the anti-fascist sleuths at Searchlight (prop. G. Gable) managed to get hold of a copy of this insidious document through intrepid undercover work. Either that or downloaded it from the BNP website (look under Organiser Guides). I've read it, it's truly shocking stuff. It talks about the importance of looking presentable when canvassing, about how to leaflet sensibly, about how to avoid confrontation with provocative opponents. While clearly tailored to the particular circumstances, status and reputation of the BNP and its relationship with its various committed opponents, it reads exactly like you'd expect the organizer's handbook of any campaigning organization or political party to read. Go on then, dig out the Labour equivalent and "compare and contrast".

All very strange. There's something going on, isn't there? Go on, you can tell me. I can take it.

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* Sorry, Sunny, The Oleaginous Vaz has got first prize well and truly sewn up. You've absolutely no chance.