16 November, 2007
...and don't frighten the horses
Man has sex with bicycle and is placed on sex offenders' register.
Apart from the mind-boggling question of precisely how you have sex with a bicycle (or where do you push with a pushbike?), what is the point of this prosecution? Does the magistrate perhaps believe that other wheeled objects are in danger from this man? If he assaulted a baby buggy would he have been regarded as a paedophile. There are other issues. Was the sex consensual? Was it a male or a female bike? Is rape or buggery at issue?
Mind you, I like his defence
Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.I must admit to having occasionally overimbibed during my misspent youth, but I have definitely never confused a bicycle with a woman.