16 October, 2008


Quotes du jour

On the steam wireless a rambling programme in which Alan Coren and Christopher Matthew use their freedom passes to wander round North London. Taking a break in a pub, one tells an anecdote from a visit to the cinema. In the darkness he heard a loud female voice in the demotic register, the voice of a woman clearly exasperated by the evident need to instruct her beau of the evening in the basic etiquette of back-row snoggery and gropery, as she called out,

"Oi, tits first! Ain't you got no bleedin' manners?"

Made oi larf, anway, as did the following.

Why South Africa Sucks (quite possibly not work-safe) is an egregious hard-line Afrikaner-led blog which sometimes makes even a hardened crusty old racist thug like me blanche, but is well worth repeated visits for the alternative view it gives of the Rainbow Nation's post-Apartheid paradise. It's the sort of site which would cause a Guardianista who accidentally connected to it to feel so contaminated that he would immediately burn his computer and then immerse the residue in quicklime. Those of us of sterner stuff are willing to listen to all sides of the argument.

In a recent typically ranty post, one of the regular contributors refers to a liberal commentator of whom he seemingly disapproves as "a dyke so butch that she probably rolls her own tampons". I know exactly what he means. A phrase I shall tuck away.

On the subject of web fastidiousness, I recall a case in which the phrase "I wouldn't contaminate my cache with [such-and-such a site]" was used in earnest. Several years ago the BNP published a "news item" about a fairground donkey which had supposedly been prosecuted for a racially-aggravated attack after unseating a young passenger who happened to be the first Asian child it had been called upon to carry. This came to the attention of the righteous and gullible folks at GUTalk, who duly started a thread telling each other how stupid the BNP knuckledraggers were to believe such nonsense. Of course they were reliant on third-party rumours of the article because, as the good folk of GUT were anxious to reassure each other and at length, they wouldn't dream of contiminating their browser caches by visiting so vile a website.

Being made of sterner stuff, I visited the BNP website (shock! horror!) to discover that the offending item was self-evidently a spoof, a deliberate satire on political correctness.

There are lessons to be learned there.

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